The overall song is okay-ish. To be honest I
like the first better. But there are some moments
of the song I think the song has a certain charme.
Somehow it sounds like a demo-tape of an unreleased
Beatles song or so - cannot describe it exactly.
The intro sounds a bit unbalanced. After 1:20mins
it sounds very good.
Although, this song might not be my favourite one -
I definately can say that you are really talented.
Keep it up.