Author Topic: How to partake of cola effectivly.  (Read 20321 times)

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Offline Pixel_Outlaw

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How to partake of cola effectivly.
« on: September 10, 2007 »
OK, well as long as this thread is "hip" again.

I prefer the darker colas for their depth and mature vigor. When aged in their fine aluminum barrels for weeks, they pick up the inherent earthiness of their respective region. A fine cola must be opened properly and it must breath a bit before drinking. Sometimes it becomes necessary to "burn" the pop for better aeration. Lighting a match and then watching it go out over a fine glass of vintage cola is the main part of the process. As said before the colas are for a more sophisticated palette. To put into barbaric terms, a cola is a sexy young woman in an expensive car, a citrus pop would be akin to a toothless redneck woman in a plastic pedal car.

The citrus pops are not without merit, however, they should only be consumed for the caffeine. One can't watch the glittering playfulness of citrus pops in the presence of a more refined and stoic cola.

The proper container comes into question with fine sodas as well. For a citrus soda, I would recommend a chilled white ceramic mug. For the cola, a clear white glass is the only way to go.

This brings Me to the final point-ice cubes. Depending on the soda's week and clarity ice cubes may subdue the flavor of your costly beverage. Again, ice cubes may compliment the sparkly spittyness of a citrus pop, but the smooth taste of a cola may be diluted via too many cubes.

In a public setting it is quite acceptable to slurp cola, aeration of the palette only makes the refined taste stronger. If the table waiter looks annoyed at your professional slurping, politely spill the drink on his dress then flip him off and leave.

Also, when trying new drinks follow these simple rules.

Slurp for aeration. The drink may gain a more robust flavor.

Color is an indicator of quality. If the color is unnatural the cola may contain traces of cancer causing substance.

Stop what you're doing. Action can cause distress and may affect the taste in a noticable fashion.

We Hope that you will continue drinking one of the most historic and important beverages in the world. It's been with us through wars, love,loss marriage and divorce. It is who we are as humans. One doesn't see chimps brewing cola, nay this wonderful gift is reserved for us and us alone.
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Offline Shockwave

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Re: How to partake of cola effectivly.
« Reply #1 on: September 10, 2007 »
I am enlightened!

How long would you reccomend that I let the coke go flat, erm sorry, breathe?
Shockwave ^ Codigos
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Offline Pixel_Outlaw

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Re: How to partake of cola effectivly.
« Reply #2 on: September 10, 2007 »

This is a very good question. Many factors such as climate zone and barometric pressure play a role. It's best to consume drink after it has breathed for 30-35 seconds. The first sip is the most important since it will be the strongest during the sitting.

It has been my pleasure to answer questions regarding this most splended drink.
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Offline Clyde

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Re: How to partake of cola effectivly.
« Reply #3 on: September 10, 2007 »
Wow, I didn't know you knew so much about cola dude. Nice insight, sounds like one should drink it a little like wine. I like the Vanilla Coke, some reason shops dont stock it.

Whats your favourite way to drink it?

Cheers,
Clyde.
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Offline Shockwave

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Re: How to partake of cola effectivly.
« Reply #4 on: September 11, 2007 »
He says a lot about the drink but when trying to follow the guide I came unstuck as I did not know what sort of glass to drink it out of, so whilst being informative Clyde, I don't think you should see it as a Lexicon of cola drinking.
Shockwave ^ Codigos
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Offline Pixel_Outlaw

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Re: How to partake of cola effectivly.
« Reply #5 on: September 11, 2007 »
Wow, I didn't know you knew so much about cola dude. Nice insight, sounds like one should drink it a little like wine. I like the Vanilla Coke, some reason shops dont stock it.

Whats your favourite way to drink it?

Cheers,
Clyde.

Vanilla coke can be compared to smoking quality pipe tobbaco. Few people enjoy the full depth of it and consequently some stores are hesitant to supply it to the masses.

I tend to favor drinking with my mouth. While soda is rather soothing it tends to burn if used in the ears for example. Drinking should be confined to the mouth.
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Offline Shockwave

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Re: How to partake of cola effectivly.
« Reply #6 on: September 12, 2007 »
So you would not reccomend vanilla coke for colonic irrigation?
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Offline Pixel_Outlaw

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Re: How to partake of cola effectively.
« Reply #7 on: September 12, 2007 »
So you would not reccomend vanilla coke for colonic irrigation?

It would seem ill advised.
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Offline Shockwave

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Re: How to partake of cola effectivly.
« Reply #8 on: September 12, 2007 »
Because of the burning huh?
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Offline slinks

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Re: How to partake of cola effectivly.
« Reply #9 on: September 12, 2007 »
Yeah, I recon that would really smart!
I love semi-colons way too much ^^;
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Offline taj

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Re: How to partake of cola effectivly.
« Reply #10 on: September 16, 2007 »
Pixeloutlaw,

perhaps you can add a few words about cream soda. If I remember correctly it can be used as a decongestant by forcibly ejaculating through both nostrils simultaneously under extremes of pressure.

What is your opinion on ejaculation of cream soda?

Chris
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Offline Jim

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Re: How to partake of cola effectivly.
« Reply #11 on: September 16, 2007 »
Choose your words carefully!
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Offline Pixel_Outlaw

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Re: How to partake of cola effectively.
« Reply #12 on: September 20, 2007 »
Pixeloutlaw,

perhaps you can add a few words about cream soda. If I remember correctly it can be used as a decongestant by forcibly ejaculating through both nostrils simultaneously under extremes of pressure.

What is your opinion on ejaculation of cream soda?

Chris

Good Heavens no!

One must invest in a good saline based solution and a costly minuscule squeeze bottle to cure sinus ailment. Soda is for oral consumption only. However that farse "Gamer Fuel" may both be used as garbage can decoration. Sometimes I take a small hip flask of Coke with me to work and have a nip during the work day. Other times I partake of a 44 ounce "Sodie Pop" while at college.
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Offline Shockwave

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Re: How to partake of cola effectivly.
« Reply #13 on: September 20, 2007 »
Here's a question that has been troubling me... I'd heard that you could get high by snorting Coke and after a depressing day I decided to try this.

Following the snippets of information I have gleaned from the internet and by listening to conversations I first tried to pour the coke into lines.

Unfortunately it just dispersed across the table. I realised that I needed to use something absorbant and I placed some kitchen towel in thick wads on the table and then poured the Coke into nice lines on the towel.

After tightly rolling a £20 note and trying to sniff up these lines, I found that the coke was locked away inside the kitchen towel and I could not snort it.

I went to bed feeling completely depressed. What did I do wrong?
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Offline Stonemonkey

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Re: How to partake of cola effectivly.
« Reply #14 on: September 20, 2007 »
I believe you've been misled or misinformed as to the type of coke to be used for such activity, I think this would be easier to arrange in lines.
« Last Edit: September 20, 2007 by Stonemonkey »

Offline combatking0

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Re: How to partake of cola effectivly.
« Reply #15 on: September 21, 2007 »
I have a vintage can of Coca Cola from 1986 with the word "NEW" printed on it.

Given that it is 21 years old, does the word "NEW" still apply, or would it have gone off by now?
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Offline Pixel_Outlaw

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Re: How to partake of cola effectivly.
« Reply #16 on: September 21, 2007 »
Ah what  luck find! :D

I would not dare open such a vintage boquet. Instead let it age gracefully inside the can and refrain from any consumption.

Yes, it is still new. :whisper:
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Offline Yaloopy

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Re: How to partake of cola effectivly.
« Reply #17 on: September 23, 2007 »
Open it.
Fuck L. Ron Hubbard and fuck all his clones.
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Offline slinks

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Re: How to partake of cola effectivly.
« Reply #18 on: September 23, 2007 »
I first tried to pour the coke into lines. Unfortunately it just dispersed across the table

I would advise freezing the beverage before-hand, then crushing it down into a fine powder with which to make the lines. Whilst in its liquid form, it may cause irritaition upon entering the nasal cavity as was forewarned earlier.
I love semi-colons way too much ^^;
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Offline warters

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Re: How to partake of cola effectivly.
« Reply #19 on: September 23, 2007 »
Pixel, loving the guide, trying to follow it.

I have got two bottles of cola. Both made by the Cocal Cola corporation. One is labelled as Diet Coke "With a hint of lemon", the other is similar but has lime replacing the lemon.

This has created somewaht of a problem for me.

Following your guide, I am now confused as to what to drink them out of as they are both cola and citrus sodas. Therefore, I am torn between the chilled mug and the glass.

What do I do?
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